'Big Love' of Little Value

It wasn't all that many years ago that a gently flickering picture tube was introduced into the family stronghold. It sat in a corner innocently enough, a black-and-white grin gracing its screen, happy to be included. Mom would call out, "Com'on kids, Lucy's on." The kids would jump up from their Monopoly board and yell back, "Yay!" And the family gathered together. Somehow, though, that little TV has grown and now looms with a smug sneer in the center of the living room wall, all our furniture pointed toward it.

Some experts say that it reflects us, that as our society grows and changes we look for those evolutions represented in what it displays. Others say it shapes us; brave forward-thinkers create its programs, which are a shining example of what our world could be. Still others believe that it exposes our secret desires. We draw our shades so the neighbors can't see TV fulfilling our errant fantasies. But as I sit here watching the latest "big thing" from HBO, I wonder if it doesn't simply ... mock us.

Boy Meets Girl, Girl, Girl
Big Love announces its title with a dream-like sequence of a husband and wife ice-skating lovingly around each other. I settle back in my chair with a sigh, hoping for a show about an average family for a change. Maybe there won't be any oversexed thirtysomethings or foul-mouthed cowboys in this one. In the wistful intro, hubby takes his wife's hand and then the hand of, uh, are those his daughters? Nope, they're his other wives.

Turns out Big Love is about "family," but it's certainly not family fare. Indeed, it's America's first small-screen series devoted entirely to ... polygamy.

Bill Henrickson (underplayed to a suburban "T" by Bill Paxton) is an overstressed businessman and father of seven children who bounces around between three different wives living in three side-by-side houses. His wife of 14 years, Barb (Jeanne Tripplehorn) is the oldest and wisest of his wives. She is the mother hen who keeps an eye on Nikki, the spoiled second wife who secretly runs up massive charge-card balances, and Margene, the youngest missus who just wants a little attention.

Some men might fantasize that a situation like this would be paradise. To be the king of one's castle(s), enjoying adoring children and the physical pleasures of several attractive women. But debt, screaming offspring and jealous infighting tend to take the gild off the lily. (Not to mention living under the heavy weight of immoral choices.) The physical pleasures thing is no picnic either, as Bill jumps from bed to bed, popping Viagra like Pez to keep up with the demand.

Big Love, I should note, is rife with things like that. There's little foul language here—the f-word has been largely sidelined. So the only way for HBO to live up to its Emmy award-winning gratuitous shock standards is to focus on sex. Early episodes have featured graphic depictions of intercourse, explicit nudity, children overhearing a couple's loud lovemaking, an elderly man taking a 14-year-old as his umpteenth wife, two wives who appear to be having an affair with each other, and a father in a (implied) compromising situation with his daughter.

Say What?!
I'm sure some TV experts will watch Big Love and suggest that it's only a quirky little drama filled with interesting character conflict. Some might even call it an examination of a growing social issue—the credits at the end of the show purport that "20,000 to 40,000 or more people practice polygamy in the U.S."

But it's actually more (and less) than that. Creators Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer have stated that they thought the institution of polygamy was an "ideal template to look at marriage and family." So, if that's what they're doing, I have to ask: What in the world do they see when they look?

Certainly not marriage and family as God created it (even though the writers have Bill praying "in the name of Jesus Christ"). Genesis 2:24, 1 Timothy 3:2, Hebrews 13:4 and Deuteronomy 11:19, among other passages, establish God's plan for a man and wife to become one flesh, keep that union undefiled and teach truth to their children. What does that say about Olsen and Scheffer's template? It seems to say that they either have a very misinformed view of marriage and family or they simply don't want to see it the way God intended.

They may not be advocating multiple wives, but there's certainly the sense that they're interested in proffering the idea that "traditional" marriage isn't the end of the story.

The "Yay" Button
So, there I sat staring at my TV as it droned on at me. "Times are changing—dysfunctional families—flexible relationship systems—eroding taboos—same-sex unions—BLIP!" With a jab of my finger I turned it off. The last echoes of its babble left the room: "You're only hiding from the future and from the truth ..." And I thought, no, that's wrong. The truth is, I don't live in a TV family, and I don't live by their rules. This is my family. This is God's family.

I walked to the foot of the stairs and called up, "Com'on kids, let's play Monopoly." And the kids yelled back, "Yay!"