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Bones |
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ONLINE EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS FILM FEATURES GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND LEWD SEXUAL CONTENT. THIS REVIEW REFERENCES THAT CONTENT AND IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN.
Start with disturbing hip-hop. Add drugs,
some nudity, tons of foul language and
violence. Mix in elements of gore, horror and a
haunted house-soon-to-be-nightclub. Snoop
Dogg has repeatedly ridden to the top of the
pop charts claiming he’s an evil, vengeful,
enemy-murdering gangsta. So what’s new?
Only that on the big screen, it’s the ghost of
Snoop (aka Jimmy Bones), exacting revenge.
Don’t call this entertainment. Just like gangsta
rap, it’s anything but.
It’s 1979. Bones is being pressured into
introducing crack cocaine into his
neighborhood. He refuses. (Don’t be
impressed, he’s just not keen on destroying
his own living space. "If you’re going to sell it,
don’t sell it around here.") A bit miffed at his
refusal, dirty cop Lupavich and Eddy Mac (the
area’s dope-trade leader), shoot him,
then—along with Bones’
so-called-friends—stab him to death. Little is
left to the imagination.
Fast-forward to the present. Unaware of
its history, four twentysomethings (including
three children of Bones’ best friend) purchase
the abandoned gothic, skull-looking edifice
where Bones was murdered. Not only does
the structure house his remains, it houses his
ghost who has taken up residence in a dog.
The foursome turn the place into a nightclub.
But Bones is busy trying to come back to life.
As the dog feasts (primarily on the blood of
murdered victims), sinew begins to return to
the skeleton of Jimmy Bones. I should note
here that he also appears to gain strength
from listening to gangsta rap. Soon, Bones is
free to wreak revenge upon his enemies.
•
positive elements: Bones
is so rotten it’s difficult to assign positivity
to any onscreen action. But in the horrific
climax, psychic reader Pearl ignites herself to
save her daughter Tia. How’s that for
self-sacrifice?
•
spiritual content: With a picture of
Jesus prominently displayed, Pearl conducts
a séance. She’s also shown reading tarot
cards and palms. Sadly, her occupation is
legitimized. Tia explains that her mother
believes there’s an invisible city of undead just
a fabric tear away from the real world. Bones,
after killing one of his victims, sings "Swing
Low, Sweet Chariot."
•
sexual content: Eddy Mac straddles
his topless girlfriend. She’s wearing just a
thong, but that doesn’t stop the cameras from
panning her from several angles once she
stands. Tia paints a nude for art class. Bones
appears as a sexy woman to seduce a man,
only to morph back into a dog and gruesomely
kill him and eat his entrails. Bones fondles Tia
under the sheets (this is especially disturbing
because while she may think it’s someone
else, it’s really the spirit of her father who is
touching her.
•
violent content: Vicious and
nauseating. Blood spews everywhere. Throats
get slashed. Heads are decapitated. After
she’s killed, what’s left of Eddy Mac’s girlfriend
is seen hanging over the side of a barrel.
Other bodies are shown soaking in blood.
Bones kills Eddy Mac’s bodyguard with a
punch that sends blood gushing from his
neck. Pieces of a broken mirror fly
supernaturally through the air, landing in
Eddy’s back. After hanging him on a hook,
Bones knifes Lupavich in the chest.
Gruesome undead bodies struggle to
become alive again. The dog spews forth a
stream of maggots which some club-goers
unknowingly eat. There’s more, but there’s no
need to recount it.
•
crude or profane language: Nearly
100 f-words and s-words. The Messiah’s
name gets brutally abused. Especially
disturbing is how the Lord’s name is
combined with vulgarities.
•
drug and alcohol content: One main
character smokes pot. Peripheral characters
smoke crack. Bones is forced to smoke crack.
Eddy Mac and his girlfriend have plans to do
cocaine before being slain.
•
other negative elements: Not
surprisingly, gangsta rap lyrics featuring
vulgar themes are given a lot of attention. The
only policeman in the movie is crooked.
Bones’ best friend chews out his son for
using a profanity, but in a later scene goes on
a tirade, using the f-word repeatedly.
•
conclusion: It’s hard for me to believe
that anyone would actually want to go
see this movie. But some will. The same
crowd that enjoys and defends gangsta rap
will pay (dearly) to see Snoop Dogg bigger
than life up on the big screen. Make sure none
of them are in your family.
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