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Kangaroo Jack |
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When Louis Fucci was a child, he saved
Charlie Carbone’s life at a New York beach.
The two became best friends. Twenty years
later, the pair is still tight, and they’ve been
through many misadventures together, but
nothing’s prepared them for what’s next. Hired
to transport a truckload of TVs, Louis shows
up at Charlie’s hair salon and asks for his
help unloading them. En route, the cops try to
pull them over (informing them over the squad
car’s PA system that the TVs are stolen
property). Louis decides to outrun the police,
fearing that since he’s currently on probation,
he’ll get sent to the slammer. While dodging
the officers in a high-speed, high-impact
chase (this is where Jerry Bruckheimer’s
famous slam-bam production skills first get
noticed), Louis inadvertently leads police to a
Mafia warehouse filled with stolen
merchandise. They escape arrest, but jail time
may have been kinder to them than Charlie’s
stepdad Sal Maggio—he’s the mob boss who
owns the now-compromised warehouse.
To make the two guys pay for their costly
"mistake," Sal sends Louis and Charlie to
Australia to deliver a special package to a
certain Mr. Smith. The pair soon discovers that
the package contains $50,000. What they
don’t know is the money is meant to
pay Mr. Smith to kill them. Fortunately for them,
on the way to meet Mr. Smith, Charlie crashes
their jeep into a kangaroo. Thinking the beast
is dead, Charlie and Louise begin "playing"
with it, dressing it up in sunglasses and a
jacket. That’s when the kangaroo wakes up,
escaping with the jacket containing the
$50,000. The chase is on.
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positive elements: A young
Louis risks his life to save Charlie from
drowning at the beginning of the movie. Their
friendship stays true throughout the picture,
and they even learn things about maintaining
long-term relationships in the process. Louis
realizes he’s guilted Charlie into doing a lot of
things by holding over him the fact that he
saved his life. Charlie realizes that "every story
in my life worth telling starts with Louis and I."
And he says Louis saves his life every
day.
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sexual content: Most of it
centers around Jessie, an American wildlife
conservationist, who helps Charlie and Louis.
She’s seen several times wearing revealing
outfits, and she quickly becomes Charlie’s
love interest. When Louis first meets her and
asks about the animals she’s carrying, she
says they’re an endangered species and are
going to repopulate a remote area. Louis
smirks, "These guys will be having some fun
tonight." Louis later describes what Jessie
looks like to Charlie by making lewd noises
and gestures. When Jessie rescues Charlie
and Louis in the desert, Charlie thinks she’s a
mirage, stares at her breasts (while Shaggy’s
"Sexy Lady" plays in the background) and
grabs them. As Jessie is nursing the dorky
duo back to health, she gives them a drink
and jokes that "it will make your testicles fall
off." Charlie happens across Jessie taking a
bath in a river (she’s wearing a tight, white
tank top and panties). The two end up kissing
a couple of times and Charlie says, "This is
the most sensuous, romantic moment of my
entire life." During a fight between Louis and
Charlie, Louis calls Charlie a woman and
says, "Bring it on, queen of the desert." When
Charlie asks Louis to "reach into his pants,"
Louis refuses, responding, "We all have
urges." (Charlie just wanted him to grab some
scissors.) As Charlie and Louis share a hug
near the end of the movie, Jessie tries to
break it up, but Louis stops her saying, "This
is a very intimate non-gay
moment."
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violent content: When Mafia
hit men and contract killers are trying to scrub
out a couple of guys in the Aussie outback,
you have the perfect ingredients for violence.
Mr. Smith threatens numerous people with a
huge knife, tapes a woman up with duct tape
and holds his knife to Charlie and Jessie’s
necks. There is also lots of gunplay. From
police with guns in a chase scene to Frankie
the Vermin with a handgun, weapons play a
big part in the movie. Often they’re pointed at,
and fired at, other people (no one dies).
There’s talk of killing, digging up dead bodies,
"cutting people up" into little chunks, getting
"whacked," "execution," "carving you up piece
by piece," etc. Scenes are offered up in which
people are punched, thrown from jeeps and
hit with the butts of rifles. Louis nearly dies
when he falls off a cliff. A pilot is shot in the
neck by a tranquilizer dart and the plane he’s
flying crashes (nobody is hurt). Charlie is
kicked to the ground on a couple of occasions
by kangaroos and is punched by Jessie.
Louis and Charlie are nearly surrounded by
dingoes, but the wild dogs don’t attack.
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crude or profane language:
Although the f-word and s-words aren’t used,
you’ll get an earful of other profanities and
harsh slang ("d--n," "h---," "frickin," "p-ss off,"
"a--"). There are also more than 15 misuses
of God’s name. Frankie the Vermin says, "You
pansy-a-- retards are dead. I’m going to
slaughter you like veal." Charlie says, "I just
got my a-- kicked by a marsupial." The
kangaroo’s rap includes the words "bang,
bang bootie." When the kangaroo is showing
his acting ability, he does a dead-on
impression of Dr. Evil (of Austin Powers
fame), saying, "Throw me a frickin’ bone."
Not exactly the kind of language families will
welcome in a movie that so blatantly targets
kids.
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drug and alcohol content:
Charlie and Louis go into an Australian bar.
They order a couple of beers and Charlie
guzzles his. A guy at the bar (Blue) starts
doing shots and patrons start placing bets on
how many he can do. Charlie tells Louis, "You
gotta see this guy drink." Blue ends up
passing out from alcohol poisoning. Later, he
says he never should’ve left the bar.
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other negative elements:
When the police tell Louis to pull over in the
stolen truck, he puts the pedal to the metal
and causes a string of accidents. After Blue
passes out from drinking too much, Charlie
and Louis revive him (with two pots of coffee
and a Red Bull) and have him flying an
airplane in less than two hours. The camels
Jessie, Charlie and Louis ride pass gas
loudly—and often. When Louis gets attacked
by ants, he pulls off his pants and dances
around.
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conclusion: Just the mere
fact that Jerry Bruckheimer produced this film
will throw up a lot of red flags for many
parents. Bruckheimer is best known for shoot
’em up, crash ’em up action movies with
PG-13 or R ratings. He’s never been known
for creating "family" movies, and Kangaroo
Jack won’t change that. Violence,
language, drinking and sexual shenanigans
will make far-sighted families (especially
those with younger children) hop far, far away.
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