I finish my call to Dallas, which didn't really go the way I wanted. A quick glance at the clock tells me I've got no time for the other two calls I need to make. What a day. As I open my calendar, I notice I've got e-mail (have to do that later, too). With a groan, I wonder if there is any possible way to get everything done by Saturday. Which brings to my mind's eye the unpleasant face of the boss with that "something smells bad" look he gets. Why do I put myself through this? Especially since ... this is a video game.
No, they haven't made a game about office life. But EA Sports has taken a nuts-and-bolts, behind-the-scenes look at that ogre of the offensive line, that Frankenstein of the first down, that titan of the TD—the NFL Head Coach. Fantasy Football fans and armchair coaches young and old won't be intimidated by the minutiae. They're more likely to sigh with pleasure as they immerse themselves in every flyspeck detail of a football team's operation.
You start out as the former offensive or defensive coordinator of last year's Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers. This means that you're considered a great catch as a possible head coach this year. After interviewing with a team and receiving several job offers, it's time to roll your sleeves up and sit yourself down behind a desk.
Micromanagement, Hike, Hike
The first day of your new job, Mr. Team Owner gives you his goals for the year and a lot of different team pies to stick your fingers in. He sends you off to re-sign or cut last year's coaches and players—watch the budget—scout college players, plan for the upcoming draft—watch the budget—and start shaping and working your team toward the preseason.
Other than that pesky money thing, you choose players based on numerical scales that represent their natural attributes and skill sets (speed, arm strength, play awareness, stamina, catching ability—to name but a few). And then you can raise those attribute numbers through a variety of non-contact to full-contact practice drills that result in tighter plays.
Don't worry if you've never juggled a helmet full of these kinds of duties before—the game guides you through with ample office time and cue screens. The twist is that the schedule is fairly hardwired and doesn't allow you many opportunities to make adjustments (adding that third practice with your quarterback, for example), so your job becomes all about balancing your time with your goals.
And let's not forget about motivation. During practice and in the big game you have the opportunity to talk to your players and praise their work or chew them out for being slackers (no swearing allowed). They each respond differently, some appreciate a kick in the shorts, while others prefer a pat on the back. However, the Artificial Intelligence (AI) of Head Coach can be a little frustrating. It feels so random sometimes. Brett Favre might make a stunning play, but when you encourage him for it, he wants to take his ball and go home.
Scramble Into the End ... er, Coaching Zone
From there it's all about playing against other NFL teams and hoping that the talent you've recruited and the plays you've slaved over will be good enough for a winning season. Now, hard-core Madden-ites may be a little irritated that this isn't your typical button-masher football game where you can control various players as they crisscross the field (you simply call the play in and let the game's AI take it from there). And there's the aforementioned office time, which may feel a bit tedious—for casual gamers, not all those Fantasy fans! But even if you're not a football or video game whiz, you can still score a few touchdowns with Head Coach.
You'll probably even learn a bit about the gridiron sport along the way. That alone could end up being fun. I mean, wouldn't it be a chuckle to see the reactions of your family-room-full of rabid football watchers when you yell at the TV through a mouthful of corn chips, "Look at where they put their tight end! Go with a 3-4 normal, zone man blitz!"
The best thing about Coach, though, is that you'll have no worries about bloody body counts or back-alley fights, no blazing guns or unclad women drinking hot coffee, nor a single car exploding on impact. This is, thankfully, a straight-forward—what's it like to be an NFL coach?—kind of game.
